Care

 Care? What a small four letter word isnt it? Just like love, hate, feel, need and many more…. Very freely used word. But who knows what it really means? What it looks and feels like. How is it exactly done?? Now thats the real question. 

How do you care? How do you show that you care? Do you get the kind if care you want,deserve,need? Do you reciprocate to others? I have been lately thinking about my feelings and needs from my relationships where I stumbled on the idea of what care means. I am not a professional and this isnt a self help blog so I would best put my abstract ideas in ink thats it.

I recently realised „to care for“ and „to care about“ has a valley of difference between them. „Care for“ would mean that the caregiver is bringing you material things actively that help you sustain living. Not caring for them would deplete the life in a very materialistic and tangible way… leading all the way to maybe death. If there is no one to care for you, either you have to be independent and reach out for your material needs or you slowly die. No one to care for you makes you independent and if you dont have anyone to care for… robs you of your sense of purpose

Now the  second big elephant in the room is „care about“. This is according to me a more nuanced version of care. it takes long term into consideration, it takes invisible aspects into consideration. Like emotions, needs, boundaries, ideas, mental well being, etc. Here the caregiver thinks and takes into consideration your „non-materialistic“ identity. Meaning that your non materialistic needs are upheld in the relationship in your presence and often in your absence too. No one to care about you leads to feeling of loneliness!! And if you care about no one, it makes you a rebel. If I care about everyone then it makes me a people pleaser. Nuanced isnt it? I do use „I“ and „you“ interchangeably because I do want to also be a reader of my own thoughts sometimes from a reader‘s perspective 

And at the end I would like to say… we need to really decide whom do we care for and whom do we care about. Both are necessary but not everyone deserve both of it, thats my best idea.…think over it… maybe it clears things for you and helps you make a prosperous life