NotASelfHelpBlog

Recently since I have started reading some basic philosophy and watching podcasts, I must say, I have come to realize that a big part of your life is actually asking yourself the correct questions. Its not just asking questions that solves the problems of your life, but also you need to be very very honest to yourself when your ask yourself these questions and when you come up to the answer. Mind you, I keep using "me and you" forms of words interchangeably!! Because when I am writing, I happen to sometimes speak in second person to myself!. Communication is the key, not just to others but also with yourself. For a longest time I detested people who could be very articulate with their words. Maybe because they used words as a tool to cause pain or for negative. But when used for positive, articulate words can be really really powerful. How to decide that you are using the words for positive? My best idea here is, use your words to find out "what the hell is the meaning/p...

So today I would like to write a little bit about trust and insecurity. Trust is the first death that occurs in any conflict. Doesn't matter whom the conflict is with. It can be with your partner, your colleagues and your co-workers and also Yourself.  The feeling of security is very a fundamental requirement for your mental stability. This feeling can not always be transmitted to others around you, because it can also be blocked by their own insecurities, or your words and actions are not indicative enough about your intentions. But You feeling secure from within can only lie in your own hands. Feeling of insecurity in yourself can arise from many reasons. Of course since this isn't a Self Help blog and I am not a Psychologist or a Leader in any sorts, I as the author of this blog can only jot down my own ideas. My best idea about internal security is being truthful to yourself. The question you need to ask yourself, is -"have you been Loyal to yourself? " Dr. Jordan...

Today just as I am about to start my day. I was just thinking about what role does validation play in life. And looking at my struggles in life and those of my near and dear ones, I am trying to figure out what role does validation play in life. I saw a brilliant video by Dr. Andrew Hubermann where he says why it is important to not announce your goals to people. Not too soon anyways. On another blog, I saw that too early disclosure of intentions to others, means you derive dopamine from the validation and appreciation of others. Thus it is necessary to announce after as a Thumb-rule after 12 weeks of constant efforts. The describers derive dopamine from the appreciations and good words from others when they announce their goals, thereby reducing the motivation to do the task in itself. People, in seeking validation, go to such an extent that they lose their own self because of it. Their need for validation is stemming from another trauma they are having, but this trauma can reduce the...