Validation

Today just as I am about to start my day. I was just thinking about what role does validation play in life. And looking at my struggles in life and those of my near and dear ones, I am trying to figure out what role does validation play in life. I saw a brilliant video by Dr. Andrew Hubermann where he says why it is important to not announce your goals to people. Not too soon anyways. On another blog, I saw that too early disclosure of intentions to others, means you derive dopamine from the validation and appreciation of others. Thus it is necessary to announce after as a Thumb-rule after 12 weeks of constant efforts. The describers derive dopamine from the appreciations and good words from others when they announce their goals, thereby reducing the motivation to do the task in itself.

People, in seeking validation, go to such an extent that they lose their own self because of it. Their need for validation is stemming from another trauma they are having, but this trauma can reduce their  own self confidence to such a low level, that they aren't able to have their own decisions at all. 

Validation can also be earned from online content that aligns with your own thoughts. It can make you pompous and very opiniated. Validation is just like that dopamine spike and must be derived from actions backed by words. Men crave for validation, and unfortunately in today's society, men don't really get validation from anyone, which is why they need supportive partners. Women get heaps of Validation from everywhere and they become immune to casual validation and seek validation from people they really look up to or feel close to, in best case scenario their partners. 

A difficult topic to actually throw more light upon. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Self image - a world without mirrors

Hello hello! After a long long time again I am here to pen my thoughts. Not as a psychologist or any kind of an expert… but a normal thinker who wants clarity of thought. This definitely isn‘t a self help blog either! So hier goes… I am sitting in a tram, going to work and suddenly I see my reflection in the glass. I start to imagine hey do any other creatures need to see their reflection? Abhishek Upmanyu‘s joke comes to my mind, where he says… a cat looks at other cat‘s hairstyle and „agar iski sahi hai to meri bhi sahi hai“. Mirrors were invented by us and no other creature really uses it. So society, world naturally works on social image… where everyone of us or atleast in our immediate circle have the same values of hierarchy and we get reactions to how we behave, look, wear, how much money we have. Etc. And a favourable reaction that makes us feel comfortable is the so called „validation“. Now what we are really struggling is having conflicting opinions about ourselves based on w...
Read more

1 cut vs 1000 cuts

  Death by 1 big cut Vs Death by 1000 tiny cuts I just want to talk about trauma today. I am not a psychologist and this is not a self help blog! So I try to pen my feelings, sometimes very abstract in the blogs.  When someone kills with a 1000 cuts, its NOT the 1st or 2nd or the last cut that kills… its in fact the Action of frequent cutting that kills.  Thats where we go wrong…we compare the cut size and keep wondering why its lethal… instead of looking at the action.  The worse part is, that tiny cuts present a hope that they will heal some day. But can that happen automatically?? Can they ever heal if the next cut comes before the previous cut heals?  Everyone and every trauma has a different healing speed based on where we are in life and what the nature of trauma is. If you keep burning your hand at the same spot with the same intensity every single day, is the burn every gonna heal??  Why is mental hurt any different then from a physical hurt?? ...
Read more

My view on God

Yes I know God is a sensitive Topic and a very personal topic for everyone. And rightly so!! Everyone has the right to have their own image of God. Because it lies within the scope of freedom of thought and belief, which is & should be a fundamental right. So with this said, my thoughts about God are that, God is a term used to define/describe anything and everything that we do not have the capacity to understand. Humans have always been explorers and tried to expand their knowledge base. But it still has its boundaries. Anything that lies beyond those boundaries, is for me "God". My Future, the society, the creation of mankind, where we go after death, also my own Body, unknown ways to me how my body functions! That can all be termed as God. Basically the unknown is God. The problem is that God is a very mystical term and we put god above all. But no, things that must be "worshipped" i.e. put at highest order, given top priority, don't depend on if its know...
Read more