ADHD, Relationships and Pacific Rim

 So at brink of turning 30, like me, there are many questions that come to my mind. Some get answered, some not!  A very general statement isn't it? So with my blog, I just want to take you on a journey of a confused mind that is seeking growth and healing in life. I guess this is the revelation that every adult talks about at end of 20s. Mind you, I am not a professional and this is no a Self Help Blog. So, here we go

I want to just write briefly about marriage and relationships and my thought about it. Ofcourse, this is from my own experiences where I have seen my own self and my loved ones suffer.

My idea of relationships was very immature, maybe it still is. Now the question arises what can be defined as immature? Well my best idea here is that immature means not knowing what you want, need and deserve. A good thinker will be able to break these lets say "high-level" ideas into small bite sized thoughts which are measurable in every way.

But my idea of relationships and partnerships has changed since I started dating for the purpose of really getting to know someone, rather than just for fun or for the statistics like "I went on xx many dates", or "I just want to feel closeness or be wanted" by someone.

With ADHD comes a lot of mixed thoughts. You always have a hypocritical behavior, and often cold feet. A typical ADHD person will normally have troubles becoming a partner, because of a lot of personal shame coming from when others see how big of a mess you are; or how imperfect you are. Your source of Dopamine is erratic and it affects your relationship because it keeps your partner confused. But a very brief thought came to my mind when I thought about purpose of any relationship and how similar it is to the movie Pacific Rim. Yes a very weird metaphor you could easily say.

Dr. Peterson has many videos on this topic, one which I saw in bits an pieces is this one and is marvelous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fdnjkvh110o


So briefly what happens in Pacific Rim, is that earth is attacked by Monsters of every increasing capacity (problems of life). The society gets together to build a machine that can probably fight the monster and mostly 2 pilots sometimes 3 pilots neurologically connect to drive the Machine as two separate halves of a brain to battle this monster. They basically get into each others brains access to their memories and feelings completely just to run this machine. To drive that machine solo is neurologically so difficult for a single pilot that they have biological troubles because of it. Now isn't any relationship and marriage to be specific such a machine? where if you don't open your minds to another pilot you cant run the machine? you cant eventually kill the monster and save yourselves?

No wonder why that movie with such a lame story line was still catching so many eyes!! Its actually a brilliantly made, maybe not even with that intention!

You have only one relation in your life that you can choose. Its a pressure. But it is also the only relation where you have a chance to be equal. 

So for all my friends with ADHD, lets open ourself to one person more than yesterday. It can get beautiful.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Self image - a world without mirrors

Hello hello! After a long long time again I am here to pen my thoughts. Not as a psychologist or any kind of an expert… but a normal thinker who wants clarity of thought. This definitely isn‘t a self help blog either! So hier goes… I am sitting in a tram, going to work and suddenly I see my reflection in the glass. I start to imagine hey do any other creatures need to see their reflection? Abhishek Upmanyu‘s joke comes to my mind, where he says… a cat looks at other cat‘s hairstyle and „agar iski sahi hai to meri bhi sahi hai“. Mirrors were invented by us and no other creature really uses it. So society, world naturally works on social image… where everyone of us or atleast in our immediate circle have the same values of hierarchy and we get reactions to how we behave, look, wear, how much money we have. Etc. And a favourable reaction that makes us feel comfortable is the so called „validation“. Now what we are really struggling is having conflicting opinions about ourselves based on w...
Read more

1 cut vs 1000 cuts

  Death by 1 big cut Vs Death by 1000 tiny cuts I just want to talk about trauma today. I am not a psychologist and this is not a self help blog! So I try to pen my feelings, sometimes very abstract in the blogs.  When someone kills with a 1000 cuts, its NOT the 1st or 2nd or the last cut that kills… its in fact the Action of frequent cutting that kills.  Thats where we go wrong…we compare the cut size and keep wondering why its lethal… instead of looking at the action.  The worse part is, that tiny cuts present a hope that they will heal some day. But can that happen automatically?? Can they ever heal if the next cut comes before the previous cut heals?  Everyone and every trauma has a different healing speed based on where we are in life and what the nature of trauma is. If you keep burning your hand at the same spot with the same intensity every single day, is the burn every gonna heal??  Why is mental hurt any different then from a physical hurt?? ...
Read more

My view on God

Yes I know God is a sensitive Topic and a very personal topic for everyone. And rightly so!! Everyone has the right to have their own image of God. Because it lies within the scope of freedom of thought and belief, which is & should be a fundamental right. So with this said, my thoughts about God are that, God is a term used to define/describe anything and everything that we do not have the capacity to understand. Humans have always been explorers and tried to expand their knowledge base. But it still has its boundaries. Anything that lies beyond those boundaries, is for me "God". My Future, the society, the creation of mankind, where we go after death, also my own Body, unknown ways to me how my body functions! That can all be termed as God. Basically the unknown is God. The problem is that God is a very mystical term and we put god above all. But no, things that must be "worshipped" i.e. put at highest order, given top priority, don't depend on if its know...
Read more